Confessions of a Distracted Christian

Wow, it seems like every time I write I'm writing about what I struggle with as a person/Christian, whether it be thought life, forgiveness, etc. I guess I figure if I'm struggling, others probably are too. As I write I pray, it's me, me, ME oh Lord, standing in the need of prayer! If it encourages you, convicts you, or draws you to the Lord in any way, TERRIFIC! That is the only reason I share these posts with the world at large! ...

Ok, confessions...I am a distracted person, ALWAYS have been as long as I can remember! Yes, I CAN pay attention, but sometimes it takes great effort. Anyone who has ever sat with me at an inservice can testify to this! (I apologize! :)) Well, add motherhood and loads of laundry, housework, 3 meals to prepare daily, etc, ministry involvement, home business, yada yada, and you compound this problem greatly!

Lately, I struggle with finding balance. As a mom, I have very little private time AT ALL! Honestly, I struggle with finding time for God. It's sad, but true. Sometimes it's easier to pick a distraction than to sit still for the time it takes to read His word and talk to Him. It is so much easier to entertain the flesh. There are things that my flesh enjoys that don't require that level of heart and effort (i.e. facebook, netflix), and if I'm not careful I realize I have not been nurturing the relationship that is of the most importance in my life. Not only is it important to me personally, but when I don't take that time, it shows in my level of patience with my children, with my attitude toward the hubs, and in my compassion toward others. This struggle for balance also involves FOOD! I have never been a snacker... not until I was pregnant with my first child. Yes, I enjoyed junk food and have a wretched sweet tooth, but I think I had it under control...to an extent. These days, I honestly think of the saying "You are not a dog, don't reward yourself with food"...A LOT! LOL!!! When there is a lull around here my brain says... "Oh...a moment of quiet...time for a snack". But it's not only snacking, but choosing things that are so not good for me.

In the midst of this I hear the Lord saying "BE STILL and know that I am God"...Be still Lord? Do you know how much willpower and effort it takes to NOT DO ANYTHING? To just be quiet and still before you...without fixing a bowl of ice cream? These days it is tough! My brain is so tired, there's a mountain of chores waiting every time I'm not changing a diaper or fixing a meal. How can I be still?

Recently we did a study at church called "He speaks to Me". One thing the speaker said just really pinpointed this struggle. She said something like "God will not speak over your noise, but He waits for you to be still". WOW! She might as well have put my name in front of that statement because I really needed to hear that. The bottom line is, He doesn't need me, but I desperately need Him. He will not beg for my time and attention. He waits for me to come to Him. He is so patient! But at the same time, I hear Him calling me. To pray when it's not out of desperation, but just to talk to Him. It is ultimately my choice.

and it's ultimately your choice too.

...just some food for thought! Have a great week! :)
♥ Dina